Ode to a grumpy old Aussie

Thursday 5th May

Port Macquarie was amazing! I arrived at the hostel, Ozzie Pozzie, at around 7pm and paid for my room. While I was getting sorted I heard a "You must be Dave then." From the table outside, this is how I met Phil, an old guy who worked at the hostel and had met my sister when she'd been there a week or so earlier, and had been forewarned of my arrival. He was a great character, your classic grumpy old man. He was also a compulsive liar and caught me out more times than i'd like to mention, the worst occasion being when he told me I was playing ping-pong with a left handed paddle and it took me a good thirty seconds berfore I realised he was pulling my leg. He also spent the next four days trying to steal my thongs and screw them to the roof of the smoking area, as he had a habit of doing to stray thongs. basically Phil was awesome!
That first night I joined a few of the guys at the hostel in a game of shithead, racking up a pretty impressive losing streak, and some mild drinking. There was Brad, Anika, Harley, Ashton, Dan and myself, and we soon became good pals.
The next day we all headed to the beach for a bit of a swim and a surf, during which I managed to garner another minor injury (as I seem to do every time I go near a board). That night we all hung at the hostel and played drinking games over a ridiculous amount of pizza. We also met a few new faces including a Canadian guy that was the spitting image of Michael Buble! We played a game called aussie roulette which is ever so simple and ever so vicious and then a lot of drunken ping pong took place.
Tuesday was another beach day with the guys, although this time we just went to the beach closest to the hostel with a couple of new found friends, including an English girl called Ana. We hung out for most of the day and had a lot of fun laughing at Ana and Anika while they battled to keep their bikinis on under the onslought of the waves. That night we hung out and watched telly at the hostel and met Teresa and Janna, a couple of german girls travelling up the east coast.
Wednesday was yet another beach day with a bit of surfing thrown in again, and yet more battles with bikinis, this time for Teresa and Janna. In the afternoon Ashton, the german girls and I went to the koala sanctuary and saw all the little furry guys hanging around being absurdly cute. The guide was a funny little American lady who looked just like a koala herself, and gained my eternal respect for referencing Blinky Bill (Legend!).
That night Brad the chef made everyone a huge roast Chicken dinner with peas, carrots, pumpkin potatoes and gravy; It was phenomenal! After my body had recovered from the shock of eating real people food, as opposed to my staple diet of noodles, we all went to Brad's pad, as he was living in 'The Villa', and played (you guessed it) more drinking games. I also joined in with some of Brad's fellow villa residents in a bit of drunken guitar playing, although my already less than impressive jamming skills were somewhat hampered by the amount of goon. Janna was leaving at 1am so we walked her to the bus stop to say goodbye, only to return to find Brad passed out.
Thursday morning rolled around and Brad, who couldn't remember the latter stages of the previous evening, and I went for a 2 hour kyaking trip at 10am, which was wicked but incredibly tiring when coupled with a hangover, and discovered that I am terrible at steering a kyak. Then all that was left to do was pack the bags and chill, my train would be at 1030pm in Wauchope (Don't pronounce it how it looks, It's War-hope, and saying it the other way gets you very funny looks from people at Country Link information desks).
I got to Wauchope at about 530pm with Ashton, who is also heading to Byron Bay, and spent the last 4 hours in what is possibly the dullest place in australia. I am now sitting at the train station waiting to move on to better and brighter things, with many people to reconnect with in Byron bay. Now I just need the weather to be as good as it has been in Port Macquarie - I'm almost tanned again!